I’m in my 60s now and I am so so very weary of this recurring narrative that being masochistic or submissive or accepting a cheating partner is somehow empowering for women if they “consent” to it. I’m so tired of the societal pressure put on girls and women to grant that “consent” or be stigmatized as a stick in the mud. Back in the 80s when I was in college my Mom said it seemed to her that the minute we gave girls permission to say yes, we withdrew their permission to say no. I’m tired of being told I’m a prude or closed minded or a killjoy for not finding 50 Shades or Babygirl sexy or Sabrina Carpenter’s controversial album cover “cheeky and fun!” and for insisting that for an adult relationship to be genuinely good and healthy and empowering it needs to be a partnership of equals who respect and care for one another. Somehow, no one ever tries to sell us the story with the rolls reversed as being sexy or romantic or empowering for the man.
It feels as if you're asking: Why do human beings refuse to accept reality? Many traits have helped human beings evolve but our curiosity and inventiveness are two of the most important. We ask: Why does this happen? or How does this work? And that has led us to a great understanding of much of our natural world. But when we don't get the real answer or perhaps don't like the real answer, we make something up. We have very active imaginations, we're very creative. That's a good thing, right? The problem is, reality sucks a lot of the time, so...who needs it? We simply do not want fact. We prefer fiction.
I’ve coached, interviewed,worked with thousands of people.
Most are in the constant and lifelong search for their authentic values and highest expressions of self, which evolve through their life experiences.
How many times can you reinvent and redefine your self and life? As many as you have time for, apparently.
How can you write the truth about a relationship while you are in that relationship?
I’m in my 60s now and I am so so very weary of this recurring narrative that being masochistic or submissive or accepting a cheating partner is somehow empowering for women if they “consent” to it. I’m so tired of the societal pressure put on girls and women to grant that “consent” or be stigmatized as a stick in the mud. Back in the 80s when I was in college my Mom said it seemed to her that the minute we gave girls permission to say yes, we withdrew their permission to say no. I’m tired of being told I’m a prude or closed minded or a killjoy for not finding 50 Shades or Babygirl sexy or Sabrina Carpenter’s controversial album cover “cheeky and fun!” and for insisting that for an adult relationship to be genuinely good and healthy and empowering it needs to be a partnership of equals who respect and care for one another. Somehow, no one ever tries to sell us the story with the rolls reversed as being sexy or romantic or empowering for the man.
It feels as if you're asking: Why do human beings refuse to accept reality? Many traits have helped human beings evolve but our curiosity and inventiveness are two of the most important. We ask: Why does this happen? or How does this work? And that has led us to a great understanding of much of our natural world. But when we don't get the real answer or perhaps don't like the real answer, we make something up. We have very active imaginations, we're very creative. That's a good thing, right? The problem is, reality sucks a lot of the time, so...who needs it? We simply do not want fact. We prefer fiction.
Well, now I really have to read the NYT piece.